Hello! Pleased to meet you!
Hi. How are you?
Good! How's your day going so far?
Um. I found out on the news this morning that my brother was killed.
In this weeks episode, Dan tries to right the ol’ ship, HMS Poddy. He’s been in a funk for a few weeks now, and he decides that today will be the day he starts to dig himself out of a hole. With topics ranging from child rape, Detroit, Robin Williams and online dating, listeners are sure to get their hopes up for a great show only to be completely underwhelmed. Par for the course, folks! Be sure to tune in to this disaster or else you’ll do irreparable harm to Dan Himself’s shaky, broken ego! Hooray!
By now everyone has heard about how myriad celebrities have had their personal photo libraries hacked. Intimate shots, oftentimes nudes sent to lovers and dreamers and music-makers alike, were hacked, stolen, and dispersed online for only the most banal of reasons: fapping.
As you can imagine, I’ve got two really big problems with what is coming out. Obviously, these have nothing to do with the absolute sympathy I have for these ladies having their personal pictures spread out onto the internet for everyone to see.
(That’s not to say I didn’t look. I did, and then felt bad, which perhaps makes me the worst kind of hypocrite. But that’s neither here nor there.)
Firstly, let’s be honest. When you talk about taking nudes on your cell phone, you’re talking about putting a certain modicum of confidence in three things: cell phones, the internet, and other people. These, as we all know by now, are three things in which we should probably not place trust. That’s just common sense, right? So I’d like to be able to say so without people automatically throwing the ad hominem attack of being a “victim blamer” at me like boiling acid. It’s just a certain nature of the times that we live in. That’s not to say that people shouldn’t be able to be intimate with those who they care about. Hell, they can even be intimate with me, and I’m a total stranger. Doesn’t bother me one bit. But to live in these times and then pretend that you’ve been had when your faith in either of these three things finally blows up in your face, well, it’s somewhat irresponsible. Maybe that’s not the word, but I’m entirely too drunk to think of a better one.
All I’m saying is, can’t we simultaneously tell those we love that it’s both NOT their fault when this happens, that they have nothing to be ashamed of, AND that they probably should stop putting faith in the internet and humanity to never falter? You can call me a victim blamer if you want. I don’t think that’s what I’m doing here, but you’re entitled to your opinion. All I’m saying is if I have a daughter you can rest assured she’ll see (well, maybe hear) directly how precious intimate trust is and how easily it can be stolen by complete strangers.
Yes, it’s a travesty amongst modern humanity (or lack thereof) that we even have to consider such a thing. But don’t we owe it to those we say we care about to try to prevent others from feeling so let down by society?
Does that mean these girls regret what they did? I hope not. I hope that I live in a world where the romance between a couple is stronger than some mean-spirited internet trolls, trying to ruin that which they see as good because their own lives are so vapid and unessential to the whole of humanity.
The other thing that’s bothering me are these white knights of privacy rights. Look, it was a little over a year ago when the Edward Snowden revelations came out in the Guardian out of the UK. It was revealed over the course of a few weeks that the US, in particular employees at the NSA, already had access to anything you do on your cell or computer. Those nudes have likely already been backlogged and catalogued at a storage facility in some desert somewhere.
Yet when these revelations came out last year, Americans as a whole couldn’t WAIT to stick their heads in the sand and pretend it wasn’t true. The best reactions were the ones from people pretending they didn’t care; the worst reactions are people saying that everyone who did care was somehow unpatriotic.
Well, talk about your chickens coming home to roost.
There have been those of us, ever since those revelations, saying that the government needs to be checked and it’s irresponsible of our populace not to stand up and say anything. It is. The only difference between then and now is that, it seems, people seem to start to realize that privacy really is something important. Jennifer Lawrence had her privacy absolutely crucified, and it wasn’t for any good reason. She didn’t lose it because of some high-minded ideal about national love or patriotism. She lost her privacy because someone wanted to have that power over her, to hold over her head that they could embarrass her whenever they wanted. And worst of all? They used the one thing that really should be common among all of us— love, intimacy, passion.
So, you tell me: This is the price you have paid thus far for the illusion of security. Is it worth it? Is one innocent person’s sense of self and ability to feel, love, and care worth the privacy invasion that happens on a regular basis?
Because that’s where we’re at. Jennifer Lawrence didn’t “have anything to hide,” as the phrase goes by people defending these government actions. Yet here we are, with herself— and others— left thinking that the one thing they really did have to hide has been completely unhidden. God bless the USA.
Look. All I know ultimately is that I wish I had the type of trust/love/intimacy/passion for any other human out there to really even expose myself to that level of openness. It’s a special thing, and one that I’m completely jealous of as a single male. Yet, don’t we want to also prevent others from feeling that level of hurt when it happens? What’s wrong with both offering our sincerest apologies and our shoulders to cry on, while at the same time saying there are very clear things we can do to make sure that nobody else has to go thru this? Haven’t enough people been hurt to sate our lust?
Let’s become a better people. We owe it to our loved ones.
It seems like everyone feels entitled to have their moment in the sun when it comes to sharing in the universal grief that is the death of Robin Williams. Everyone wants to stand up and be heard, because when we feel that someone has earned our respect, we want the world to know it. It’s a good thing!
However, in the grief and pain and solemnity of the death of Robin Williams, a few people feel the need to talk about suicide. I don’t really think it’s deserving of being addressed. But, since everyone seems to think it’s this elephant in the room that we’re all ignoring, then what the hell? Let’s dish.
Let me go pour another cocktail and we can talk. You and me. Man to screen to ephemeral nether to wiring to cloud to you. Not because you owe it to me, or I owe it to the memory of a cherished celebrity I’ve never met. But because I have something to say that I think you should hear.
Special guest and friend of the show Marcus O. Vaughn decides to stop by and help Dan figure out the problems with the purgatory of higher education— community college. Along the way we discuss whale oil cars, whether Moby Dick took place in Boston, and regale the audience with stories of how Dan broke a tie in Las Vegas! Also included are a special education-themed edition of “Question Time,” and new friend of the show Ol’ Dirty Bastard drops by for his financial planning segment called, “Baby I Got Your Money.”